concepts

In the first few weeks of this unit we have been asked to think about the concepts that we want to portray for our 3 different assignments. So...... I have spent a lot of time carefully thinking about this over in the last few weeks trying to pin down which concepts are most important and meaningful to me as well as being interesting areas to explore. I started by identifying things I like - like my love of geometric patterns, old wallpaper and nature. However I want to delve deeper into more emotive areas rather than just photos of pretty patterns (either on walls or in nature). The following concepts are what I have decided on:

"Childhood Memories"

I'm 35 yrs old and now I've had my two beautiful kids, I'm starting to think about my childhood and how it has shaped me. I had both a turbulent and wonderful childhood. My father suffers from Bi-Polar disease but has only recently in the last 15yrs been diagnosed with this - before this it was regularly described as schizophrenia or depression.  Sadly my dad has always used heavy drinking to self medicate before he was able to get any help and this meant some disturbing times for both my mum and me in the first couple of years of my life. After only 2 years my mum left my dad and we moved back in with my grandparents into their big white weatherboard house on George St, close to the beach, along the Kapiti coastline of New Zealand. My loving and doting mother and grandparents continued to raise me before Mum and I headed off travelling to London when I was 4. This formative period of 2 years living in my grandparents and the following years I visited them, holds for me some of the strongest and happiest memories that I cherish. We ended up moving countless times throughout the rest of my childhood and I attended 13 schools as my mum and my new step father moved around New Zealand and Australia, later with my 2 new sisters in tow as well, finally settling here in Tasmania. If I think of that time with my grandparents now it reminds me of stability and safety.

Me with my Gran, 1980

The rituals and habits my grandmother would do would as I followed her around the house have stuck with me. I also remember the house itself with its mid century furniture (my favourite to collect), my grandmothers love of lamps (i have 7 in my house now) the fantastic 60's wallpaper (I have nearly finished wallpapering every room in my house) and the extensive beautiful garden (I have just finished my horticultural qualifications) where you could find my grandfather digging or watering at any time of the day.  Fast forward to present day which is now my children's childhood - I often think of these rituals and experiences and try and replicate them for my children. I would like to pay tribute to some of these memories by photographing the rituals and things I still use today, directly due to the influence of this short period of time in my childhood. I think it's so interesting and fascinating to see what shapes us into adults and how a small thing (like sleeping a small child in a room with a beautifully patterned wallpaper) can produce a lifelong love of pattern and wallpaper!

Also .......what makes us pick up some moments and influences and carry them with us throughout our life with a passion and so easily discard others?


The second concept that interests me is more based on the present rather than the past. I like the idea of exploring this concept because it is current, important and relevant to me right now.

"Work vs Play"

I am a mum to 2 small children and I currently have 3 jobs (an old one I'm trying to leave that regularly pays the bills and two new ones as I am hoping to try and establish myself in a new profession) on top of this I have decided to embark on this degree part-time (which is something I have always wanted to do). Many people say to me - "Gosh you are busy! - How do you fit it all in?" and my mother especially says - "don't take on too much, I'm worried about you". However I don't really have a choice in the matter if I want to be authentic to myself and enjoy my work, which is very important to me (and my mental health!) In hindsight it probably could have happened at a better time, when the kids are not so little, but that's life isn't it, we don't always get to choose.

So here I am in my busy life - which if I'm being honest, can be a struggle, a balancing act and at times perhaps far too stressful than I would hope for. I do also get guilty about not being a that full time mum, bottling fruit and baking biscuits, as I'm sure many working mums do - however we are not in a financial position for this to happen. And even if we were - I would still love to work, be creative and try and be a mum all at the same time. It's just who I am.

So I have decided to explore a concept I'm calling "Work vs Play" - when often you want to be playing but you have to be working. I want this to encompass a few related themes like 'Inside vs Outside' as so often I would rather be outside than stuck inside a dark edit room or trapped in the house in front of the computer working.......and so often I catch my kids not wanting to go outside and play but rather sit inside plugged into our modern day technology.

I plan to photograph my family and maybe explore how my decision to juggle all these balls in the air might be effecting them either directly or indirectly. I hope this decision is not seen as obvious or boring?

After class the other day I spent some time in the library researching some of the photographers on our slide lists and books from our recommended reading. The artist who jumped out at me the most was Emmet Gowin, who intimately photographed his wife Edith, two sons and family over many years in rural Virginia where they lived in in the 60's and 70's.

Gowin, Emmet. Elijah & Donna Jo. Danville, Virginia. 1968

I love his intense and respectful portraits of his family and I am interested to attempt to photograph mine as well. I too have a husband I love dearly and have been through a lot with over the last 19 years. We have two children, 3 horses, 1 cat, 1 dog and 9 rural acres to roam in that we love and never want to move from.

One thing I want to watch out for though is........ after 15yrs of being a TV video editor, most of the time working on news and current affairs, I definitely have an ingrained interest and experience in a documentary style of photography and video, reflecting current ideas and happenings rather than a style of photography that is more a fiction or art form. However - I have made this decision to embark on a fine arts degree to explore a more artistic side to myself,  so I think it is important to recognise that my challenge throughout this degree (and this unit), will be to push and stretch myself out of an area I am more comfortable and familiar in - and to be less literal in my art work and more abstract - even though I do believe both styles to be forms of art; rather one style much harder for me....... but delivering me more potential for growth as an artist trying to achieve.